Write this down…make a little note.
1.) Women, men control the TV remote
We can knock ourselves out with this ongoing dilemma, but my advice to you is that your time would be better spent doing more important female things like pinning your dream home on pinterest or hunting down the latest and greatest on your social network of choice. BUT, every once in a while…a gal should be granted the awesome opportunity to hit a button or two. Men, this is a great get-out-of-jail card.
2.) Men, when a woman says yes, she means no…and no means yes. (Gals, we need to work on this. Just speak your mind. No mind games if you can help it. The more honest you are about your feelings the more you are actually coaching your lover to read you). Let him know which emotions go with which looks….eventually this works in your favor because you can drop the words and just give the look. Got it?
Men, get the above right in your noggin’ and I promise it will save you lots of time. Plus, the special lady in your life will think you are so smart and know her so well that by the end of the argument she will probably be asking you to forgive her. It takes some time but eventually, men, you will master this mind reading thing.
3.) Last one to bed turns on the fan. Don’t argue about it. This is just the rule.
4.) RINSE your dishes out when you put them in the sink.
Running crusted cereal bowls through the dishwasher once and then sticking them in the cabinet without proper inspection because “surely to goodness they are clean” is not a reliable dishwashing method.
5.) From Josh to Me on Laundry Issues…this could get serious. I LOATHE laundry.
“A four year old can put clothes into the washer and add detergent. The next step is not impossible and I am confident you can do it…take the clothes OUT of the washer and place them into the dryer. You’re almost there. Now, this step can be quite challenging, but I am sure with positive reinforcement you will be able to remove the clothes from the dryer before the wrinkles set in.”
Couples, know your strengths and weaknesses and have the ability to laugh at yourself and one another. Josh loves me even though I don’t love laundry. This issue of mine drives him up the wall and his outlet to not throwing all my clothes on the front lawn to get them off the floor is him having innocent fun at the fact of how simple the task is yet I cannot get it under control. Basically, have a sense of humor and know your downfalls, but work on the issues at hand. I must toot my own horn in saying I’ve made great strides this month in the laundry department. I even started a couple of loads for the ol’ man. GASP!
6.) Thermostat Wars!
This is mostly a winter season topic. How many layers does one have to put on before earning thermostat points? My number is two. This includes: shirt, sweat shirt, leggings, sweat pants, and socks. If my teeth are still chattering with these articles of clothing plus a blanket…the thermostat will automatically be increased by three degrees. This just has to happen. These are the rules.
7.) There is NO SUCH THING AS A PERFECT RELATIONSHIP. SAY IT AGAIN, THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A PERFECT RELATIONSHIP. Marriage/relationships are the union of two very imperfect people pushing the idea that things cannot be anything but perfect. Completely bogus! Throw this idea OUT! Keep this quote in mind when the going gets tough… “Love isn’t finding a perfect person. It’s seeing an imperfect person perfectly.”
8.) If you want to kill two birds with one stone…remodel a house together. It’s a lot like marriage counseling.
9.) The other one can be right. Admit to it. Say the words, “I was wrong.” It’s hard, but possible. The more you do it, the easier it gets but it is so empowering to a relationship. Seriously, spouses will have celebration days when the other admits they were wrong. If your spouse is having celebration days…that admitting your wrong is that out of the ordinary…you need to check yourself before you wreck yourself. This goes both ways ladies and gents.
10.) Last, but absolutely the most important thing you could ever ever ever do…is put God first. Not sometimes, not most of the time, all of the time. Numbers 1-9 are pretty easy to work out, but unless you are some super hero in the marriage world…I am betting that something harder than deciding who gets the remote is going to come up. Putting God first. It seems so easy but I will be the first to admit that it is the hardest thing I’ve had to learn to do in my three years of marriage. I’m going to get personal without getting too personal. Just follow me here for a second. Don’t make your spouse God. Your spouse will undoubtedly fail at this. Just because you marry someone does not mean that you erase their ability to do wrong against you. Both parties included. I truly believe that this is why so many young couples become disappointed in the first years of marriage. Because there is this idea painted for us that there is such a thing as a knight in shining armor. (My gal pal would insert here from the all too famous someecards…More like knight in tin foil.) And there is this idea that there is a girl who will never disappoint, dinner on the table, house is clean, and will never go Rambo with her emotions…you know…that Saturday football lovin’ down-to-earth girl you’ve always been looking for. The truth is…I believe a lot of ideas about what to expect in a marriage are twisted from what God intended it to be. I am guilty of this. Josh is guilty of this. I had no idea what I was saying when I said my vows. GASP!! I didn’t. I read them now and think to myself, “Ohhh, that’s what that meant. God didn’t just put those things in there for the heck of it?” The most beautiful thing I think I’ve ever seen is God working in my life, in my marriage. It is hard. It is tough. It has to be selfless. But it is beautiful if you let God work in it. He will strengthen your marriage in way that you would never be able to do on your own. The outcome, I believe, is going to be so beautiful Josh and I will never be able to claim ownership of it. I am so blessed and so thankful for Josh and for the things God has revealed in these three years about me, about us, about each other. Things I would never have discovered had I not been blessed with Josh. I am so thankful for our ability to love hard. It is really awesome to see things unfold when you hand it over to the Big Guy.
A place you can go for some really awesome knowledge is here.
